I’m starting to get super excited and nervous about my half marathon. It’s about 10 weeks away and even though I’m WAY behind in my training (see also: 4, 15 hour days a week with school), I’m trying to stay optimistic about my running & being able to accomplish this but sometimes it’s a little difficult. (Doubt is a bitch, isn’t it?)

I’ve run more 5K’s than I can count and I have run one 10K but I don’t have any medals to show for my accomplishments. Is it shallow of me that I’m really looking forward to having a medal after the half? Oh, it’s not? Good, because I am. =)

Anyway, my cousin sent me an article earlier in the week about a woman who lost 50 lbs with the help of her online supporters and obviously, her dedication. After being sucked into her Tumblr for at least 30 minutes the other day, I found myself lighting up after every post I read and I found myself motivated and inspired to FIND time to run, regardless of my insane schedule.

I’ve been getting up a few mornings a week to run before work and although I can’t commit as much time as I’d like to, it’s better than nothing, right? And even though my eyes are oh so tired when I’m lacing up my shoes, it feels so good to be running again. I get some weird satisfaction out of battling myself during a run and I smile when my legs are sore.

So, I give you full permission to slap me if you find me complaining about being tired or not wanting to run. And after you slap me, please remind me to come read this post.

“Time spent wishing something was easier is time wasted. The things worth going after will be at the end of very difficult roads. That’s the way life works. Don’t sit around and wish things were easier. Get better. People have a tendency to want to make the obstacle smaller rather than make themselves bigger. But you are the only part of that equation that you control.” ~LL Cool J

(yeah, I just quoted LL Cool J – deal.)

In other news, my nephew just turned 1 this week (please tell the time warp to slow down) and I had to share a few cute photos:

Have a great rest of the week!

This past weekend I went to Full Sail to check out the Sketchbook Project Tour. You basically register to be apart of the project, pick a theme, and then you just create. Simple, right? =)

“The Sketchbook Project creates a space to share your process with the world.”

As a viewer, you can just pick a theme (or country) and then they gave you 2 sketchbooks at a time with those guidelines. You can return & check out as many sketchbooks as you want.

I don’t know what I really expected before I went but I was actually really inspired (so much so that I think I’m going to participate in the 2012 tour). Those sketchbooks are such an intimate part of someone if you really think about it. You have the opportunity to see their train of thought & their ideas all bound in a tiny little sketchbook. So cool to me.

Anyway, I took some snapshots of some of my favorites & I wanted to share. =) Enjoy!

Kathleen Deep – Theme: Sleepless

Tracy Loughlin (Austrailia) – Theme: First Thing in the Morning, Last Thing at Night

Minchaya Chayosumrit (Thailand)- Can’t remember the theme, sorry!

Overall, it was an unexpectedly inspiring day. In fact, we went to Sam Flax afterwards & stocked up on some acrylic goodies and I spent the rest of the day painting. =)

*The rest of my pictures from the Sketchbook Project Tour

“Never be afraid to be proud of yourself. You are made of magic and you share dust and light with the stars that shine above you.

Laugh. Truly laugh. Let life and all of its folly steal the breath from your body and replace it with the staccato melody of giggles and guffaws; the laughter that comes without fair warning and continues without apology.

Never be afraid to follow your heart. Take all you have and risk it, truly risk it for where your crazy heart decides to take you. Do not ever think you, exactly you, are not capable of chasing your dreams and do not ever think that you, exactly you, are not worth being chased.

Be kind. Always. Give love freely and never wait for it to come back. If it breathes, grows or has even a single cell bouncing around inside it, love it, too.

Take care of yourself. It’s up to you to keep your heart beating and your lungs filling and your legs running long past when you should have found your way to shuffling off this mortal coil and starting fresh.”

-Tyler Knott

*photo credit: http://weheartit.com/entry/11596298

Have you ever been to Tijuana Flats for their dessert? My oh my, it is SO GOOD! It’s warm cookie dough flautas, lightly dusted with powdered sugar, and chocolate sauce to dip it in. That = a serious dessert and it was much needed last week when I met my lovely sister for a quick chat. We were catching up and shortly after she asked the age old question, “how are you?,” I found myself crying over this amazing dessert and really…who cries over dessert?

I’ll be honest. I’ve been in a funk. You see, I have this thing called I like to act like absolutely nothing is wrong and everything is just hunky dory when in fact it’s really not. I also have this thing called I like to pretend I am superwoman and can do everything tossed in my face and absolutely kick its ass and then some. The result of all this has been a life full of freelancing, LadyBallers, blogging, eating way too much, going out of town, business meetings, getting more involved in my community, and spending too much money – basically a bunch of chaos. And this crazy awesome chaos has also resulted in losing sight of important things like eating healthy, working out, figuring out if I want to go back to school (yes, I’ve been contemplating this), and ultimately finding my dream career.

I feel like I keep diving into all this stuff hoping it leads to where I want to be – especially in a job I want to be in. But at the end of every day, regardless of my accomplishments, I feel like I’m just running around in circles – getting nowhere. I know I have to “pay my dues” and “good things come to those that wait” but damn. I’m tired of waiting! I’m not asking for the whole kit n’ kaboodle but maybe something small that tells me, “you’re on the right track.” It’s SO frustrating to constantly feel like you’re running in place. And the things is, I don’t actually know how to GET where I want to be. I don’t know if I’m going in the right direction. And I surely don’t know what move I should make next.

But what I do know is that I have to slow down. A lot. So, I’m taking a couple weeks/months (eh…I’m playing it by ear) and I’m determined to get my health back on track, figure out if I can make school happen, and most definitely make moves to land my dream job. I don’t know how long it will take or what will have to be compromised for it to happen, but I know that I have to gain some control back, slow down, and get back on track.

So, in an effort to start my week of strong, I went to Cranes Roost on Monday to go for a run. I think I was on lap two or three when I came up to one of the hills. From a distance, I saw in front of me a cute little family – a Mom and Dad pushing a stroller, an older one walking off to the side (clearly he didn’t want to be associated with his Mom and Dad – haha), and just in front of them, a little one on a tricycle. As I watched the little boy on the tricycle get closer to the hill, I just knew he was going to have a hard time getting all the way up. He got about a fourth of the way when all of a sudden, I saw him starting to roll back slowly. So, I ran up behind him and asked him if he wanted help. His eyes LIT up and he quickly nodded his head. I started pushing the bike and telling him to pedal really fast. All he really did was just look at me smiling (and I’m sure he parents were thinking I was probably going to kidnap him). But eventually, we got to the top of the hill, and I asked him, “are you good?” His eyes just lit up and he nodded his head.

Oddly, this made me see clearer that…

There’s always going to be moments that will test me.
There’s always going to be moments where I might fall.
There’s always going to be moments where I might stumble.

But I have to remember that these are just moments…little speed bumps on my journey. Even though I really wish I could be superwoman, I realize now that it’s really okay that I’m not. And I know that even if and when (you know there will be a when) I try to be superwoman again, there will always be someone to push me and help me along the way, even if it’s just for a moment.

*Starbucks photo credit goes to Brandon Stephenson because he’s the awesome/silly friend that sent it to me and I have no clue where he got it =)

Well, it is finally that time. I’m leaving for San Francisco this weekend to attend DrupalConSF and can I just say that I AM SO EXCITED! This is the FIRST official “cross-off” on my vision board for 2010 and I’m pretty proud of myself for sticking to my goals and MAKING IT HAPPEN. Not only will I be with my fellow designing and development geeks for a few days, but I’ll be taking some extended time there to enjoy and explore the city with my friends. I’m not too happy about the 60% chance of rain 5/7 days that I’m there, but I’m not going to let it hold me down! If I must run around San Francisco in some rain boots, I most certainly will.

You know, that phrase, “making it happen” … well, it seems to be my life motto as of late. There’s just something about saying you want something and then actually doing whatever it takes to make it happen – regardless of barriers. Last week was a pretty interesting week for me. I was presented with an opportunity that I think probably would have turned my world upside down and then back down and around the corner. It was going to be something completely different from what I’ve been doing. It would have been a new opportunity to learn, to grow, and to simply try something new. At the end of the day, I chose to pass this opportunity along to someone else. And although there are various reasons why I turned it down, the one primary reason was that I realized that taking it would deter me from where I wanted to go. And essentially, I would be compromising what I want.

I think it’s easy to convince yourself that something might be right or wrong for you. You can make that list of pros and cons, ask for others opinions, bury your face in your pillow, toss and turn, and then take a leap, but you absolutely cannot forget what it is that you truly want. I honestly believe that sometimes we ARE meant to go off the path and take chances – to try new things, but I also believe that sometimes we simply are not.

Dream.
Plan.
Focus.
Make it happen.

Photo credit: http://weheartit.com/entry/13529938

Well, as I mentioned on Monday, the flu graced me with its ugly presence last week. I’ve never had the flu before, and I’m pretty confident when I say, I hope I never have it again – hah. Even though there were lots of bad things from the flu, there were definitely some good things that happened…

• I renewed my vows with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It is basically the greatest sandwich out there (only if you use strawberry jam though).
• I got an inordinate amount of sleep.
• I unconsciously forgot about coffee for 7 days! And I only had about half a cup on Monday. :)
• I found out that Maury Povich actually still has a job.
• And my old friend, the paint brush, came back into my life.

I don’t think I really tell anyone my love for painting because it really isn’t that big of a deal to me – just a hobby. But it’s definitely something I’ve lost sight of in the past year. I honestly don’t even remember the last time I picked up a brush, nonetheless painted the entire afternoon away. I always feel so bad because my Mom will get me canvases and brushes and I just put them in the closet hoping someday my inspiration comes back to me. It was days like Sunday that I was really grateful my Mom continues to buy me that stuff because I just had this crazy urge to paint.

It was raining here in Orlando – the perfect weather to put on some David Gray, open the glass sliding door, listen to the raindrops on the trees, and just release onto the canvas. I started out adventurous, throwing colors all over the canvas not having a clue what I was doing – I was purely enjoying the fact that I finally picked up a brush again! Gradually as the day went on, I stopped again and again to sit back, reflect and strategically plan my next move.

As with most things, there is always this crucial turning point — THE POINT OF NO RETURN!

Essentially, no part of a painting is “final,” yet I always feel like it is. With one stroke of a brush you can change the painting to something completely beautiful or it can turn into a giant mess of frustration and have it just go downhill. I often see the “giant mess of frustration” and “downhill” because let’s face it – I’m not a very patient person sometimes and so I just go throwing colors around like I know them and I screw up the painting. But Sunday? Now Sunday was unique. This weird sense of calmness came over me as I was planning, reflecting, and diving into blues, yellows, and reds. I realize now I had found the perfect combination of adventurous and strategic. Enough adventure to take a chance and put actual buttons on the canvas, yet strategic enough to use a needle and thread to attach them instead of glue and to know at what point to stop and say, “enough is enough.”

It’s funny to think about the words, “enough is enough.” There are so many situations where it applies – whether it’s a painting, a relationship, exercising (haha), or even just time to find something new – it’s like this quiet surrender to yourself just telling you to stop. This weird sense of calmness and peace comes over you and you’re just waving your little white flag.

I went to grab a drink with a friend on Monday to talk about friends, boys, jobs, opportunities, shopping, and anything else that came along with our frosty beverages – some good, some bad, some hurtful, and some hopeful. And even though through the entire conversation we never actually said to each other, “enough is enough,” we were both quietly waving our white flags, surrendering.

It’s quite humorous to me how something like this can relate so easily to the process of completing a painting but it’s kind of ironic in a sense. There’s always going to be something happening in your life where you get to a point – a crucial “point of no return” where you have to make a decision – keep trying or just be done. I don’t want anyone to get me wrong – I don’t think this is a negative thing…in fact, I think it’s quite positive. To me, “enough is enough” does not equal, “I give up.” But in fact, “enough is enough” equals, “I’ve done everything within my power to make this situation the absolute best that it can be and there is nothing left I can give to it to make it better.”

And I think on any given day, in any given situation, I’d rather take some adventure with a little bit of strategy, know when to surrender my little white flag, and say enough is enough.

I call it “Heart on a String.”