It should be no surprise to anyone that I am an over analyzer. I have to say it is by far the #1 attribute I dislike the most about myself.

I play situations over and over in my head, exploring every possible outcome, until my brain is begging and pleading with me to just stop.

Do I listen to it?

Nope. I just continue to try to figure out on my own what that other person means, or what they are trying to say when in fact they haven’t said or done anything at all.

I’m starting to realize how much this is actually hindering my ability to communicate effectively. You’d think by the amount I write, talk, socialize, or tell stories, that I’d absolutely have this one down and have no problem what-so-ever with effectively communicating. But in fact, I really do.

It saddens my heart to think about how many opportunities and experiences I miss out on because of this. By the time the opportunity presents itself, I’ve managed to have already beaten it to death with my over-thinking and analyzing that I’ve ruined it. The only *real* “excuse” I can come up with for my hesitation and over analyzing is well…fear.

Have I been traumatically hurt by someone or something?

Nope.

But I know plenty of people who’ve had bad experiences and I allow my experiences to be hindered by something that had absolutely nothing to do with me or who I am.

Seems silly, huh?

I was at work today, listening to my iPod as I always do, when this song came on:

Guess I have more work to do on my way to a life full of PMA. I’m going to try to give my brain a rest and just let things be. To stop always trying to figure out what’s going to happen next and just let the wind carry me.

Yep, I said it. Let me explain – I went to Target to buy a Christmas present for one of my friends. I ventured to the clothing section, saw some cheap shirts on sale – convinced myself I could NOT leave without them because I needed some new workout clothes. BAM – $20 later, new clothes and no Christmas present.

Okay, okay…this could also be known as a little disease called I AM ADDICTED TO SHOPPING.

Sooooo, for that purpose, I’m going to give you another example. :)

I met someone a few weeks ago (yay me!) – he is cute, smart, and impressed me by actually approaching ME first (apparently, I’m not easy to approach or so I’ve been told – I think it’s rubbish!) Anyway, long story short – I gave him my phone number, we talked, arranged a date. Then, there was no conversation between that time and the actual date. So, I canceled.

Why?

Because I am the master of justifying anything and everything.

I convinced myself that he wasn’t interested because there was no in-between conversation and therefore it was destined to fail.

I convinced myself (because of past experiences) that his name destined him to be an asshole.

And I also convinced myself that there was no point in opening my heart again (yes, I got ahead of myself) when I *knew* it would end up in broken pieces.

Do I regret it? No.
Am I crazy? Probably.
Am I an overanalyzer? Absolutely.
Do I need psychological help? No comment.

Essentially, all of the above is not something I’m proud of or something I willingly wanted to admit (ALL OVER THE WEB), but I also know that all of the above is big giant load of negativity. Why would I convince myself that bad things are going to keep happening to me? Why would I convince myself that my heart is destined to be in tiny pieces on a floor rather than being loved by someone? Do you do this? THAT, my friend, is not something I want to portray or believe anymore. The past couple weeks I have made it my personal mission to start eliminating these negative thoughts in my mind (who needs New Year’s resolutions? START NOW!)

So, I would like to introduce you to a little thing called: *drum roll please*

POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE

Or as I like to call it PMA!

“PMA implies that one has a vision of good natured change in one’s mind; it employs a state of mind that continues to seek, find and execute ways to win, or find a desirable outcome, regardless of the circumstances. It rejects negativity, defeatism and hopelessness.”

Simple, right?

Why yes, yes it is. I know that at first, it wasn’t easy for me. I had to make some decisions and weed out some things and people. And I definitely have my days (hell, this WHOLE WEEK has been a little bit of a nightmare) … But you know what? Everyday, I wake up with the hope that today WILL be better than yesterday, and so far, everyday HAS been. What I think is important to realize is that…

YOU
MAKE
YOUR
DAY
POSITIVE
OR
NEGATIVE

Did you notice the keyword in that sentence?

YOU

Yes, bad things happen. Yes, work sometimes sucks. Yes, money is tight. But the real test (I think) is: Are you going to let it ruin your day? Or are you going to just HANG IN THERE, realize that it’s just a bad moment or a hard couple hours, and find hope in yourself that you can tackle this and overcome it?

I know I can. And you know what? When I don’t think I can, I have amazing friends in my life to help me get by. (Click each one of those words, they’ll want to help you too if you don’t think you can.)

I’ve got a one way ticket to PMA. Who’s comin?