It should be no surprise to anyone that I am an over analyzer. I have to say it is by far the #1 attribute I dislike the most about myself.
I play situations over and over in my head, exploring every possible outcome, until my brain is begging and pleading with me to just stop.
Do I listen to it?
Nope. I just continue to try to figure out on my own what that other person means, or what they are trying to say when in fact they haven’t said or done anything at all.
I’m starting to realize how much this is actually hindering my ability to communicate effectively. You’d think by the amount I write, talk, socialize, or tell stories, that I’d absolutely have this one down and have no problem what-so-ever with effectively communicating. But in fact, I really do.
It saddens my heart to think about how many opportunities and experiences I miss out on because of this. By the time the opportunity presents itself, I’ve managed to have already beaten it to death with my over-thinking and analyzing that I’ve ruined it. The only *real* “excuse” I can come up with for my hesitation and over analyzing is well…fear.
Have I been traumatically hurt by someone or something?
But I know plenty of people who’ve had bad experiences and I allow my experiences to be hindered by something that had absolutely nothing to do with me or who I am.
Seems silly, huh?
I was at work today, listening to my iPod as I always do, when this song came on:
I’m gonna test the temperature.
Follow the taste of it.
Swallow it whole.
Even though I know my way around,
Possibly there is something I’ve found.”
Guess I have more work to do on my way to a life full of PMA. I’m going to try to give my brain a rest and just let things be. To stop always trying to figure out what’s going to happen next and just let the wind carry me.